On Thursday, Twitter announced a series of minor updates to the platform to make it easier for users to follow news and events, expecting, one can only assume, someone would want these new features.

no thanks, cheers

— eat the booty like ratatouille (@bonerman_inc) June 14, 2018

can we not do this please please please

— Luke Heary (@lukeheary) June 13, 2018

What ever could make Twitter users happy? It’s a mystery Twitter is still trying to solve. Could it possibly be more breaking news in the feed?

I already have my own sort of breaking news feed of media I’ve chosen. Why not get rid of the Nazis and propaganda bots instead? And have a less intimidating report system for Germany?

— Susanna Forrest (@Susanna_Forrest) June 14, 2018

What if I don’t want to see breaking news?? How can I delete them from my timeline/explore section?

— ✨Ricky//28-6✨ (@Ricky_XCX) June 13, 2018

Literally no one wants this.

— James Petruzzi (@Hawaiianimages) June 14, 2018

why would i want to feel like i’m in a newsroom

— Richard Cook (@cookywook) June 14, 2018

What about a really banging pride logo?

You guys will do literally everything but what your users ask for

— Briana (@LikeABeeToHoney) June 14, 2018

Hmmmmmm, if only they would communicate more clearly…

No thanks. I just want the tweets of the people I follow, in chronological order. Nothing else.

I don’t mind ads. I don’t mind paying. But I do not want my screen cluttered up with stuff I didn’t ask for.

— chiller ★ (@chiller) June 14, 2018

how about: the timeline consists of tweets and retweets by the people I follow, in the order that they were tweeted or retweeted, and literally nothing else

I would PAY for this, guys

— iucounu (@iucounu) June 14, 2018

I just wanna be able to edit my tweets within the first 10-20 seconds of sending it. I don’t ask for much.

— RiRi 🐝 (@ayeRiRi) June 13, 2018

Nobody wants this. Please give us back a simple chronological timeline to scroll through at our leisure. What was so wrong with that before?

— Warwick (@pocketfulofgeek) June 14, 2018

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